I had no idea how my life was going to pan out. I was in dance most of my childhood and fell into acting in college and then concentrated in film in grad school, along the way became a teaching artist. I simply went with the flow. I never said I was an artist until now but still have some reservations about it. An artist creates and his life is consumed with creating. He markets himself and is seen by buyers to buy his work and then the cycle continues. The cycle is generated my inspiration presented on a daily basis and then followed through with a creation, presentation, and sell. Yet, what happens when the cycle ends, or rather is at a stand still. The artist is stuck, uninspired, or simply spent. Thus begins my tale.
I moved from New York in this state, worn out and used. I was in the grind, full force. Promoting me. Invested in me. Me was my client. Yet, me got own my nerves. I was in constant conflict with me. Me would not let me rest because me was wrapped up insecurities that caused worry and anxiety on a regular basis. I could not stand the me I had become and decided to leave her alone for awhile.
I came home to Houston with the plans to breathe for a bit. The intent to stay three months led to three and half years. These past years have been filled with projects of the spirit. Projects that cultivated my spiritual self. These projects extended from performing in gospel plays and working in churches to relationships that refined my character, in which I had to attain my self worth. These type of relationships, including friendships, were hard to endure. The self was humiliated and beaten down in the process.
Yet, this process led to something good. I was no longer concerned with the me I had created but the me I was created to be. How God intended me to be. The creator knows his creation. My journey back to Him brought me back to my true self. I was freed.