Now more than ever I feel like God wants me to step out. No longer in the background, as if to say, “All that was needed to be taught, healed has been done and you are now ready to be fully in the world.” Of course, I will always be a work in progress but the realization of who I am as come into view. I spent a huge part of my life running away, or rather taking control of what I thought I was, but now I’m in full surrender. I’m so in full surrender that I am actually applying to be a certified teacher. I feel like God is pushing me to do this. He gave me a short gig to give me a glimpse of what he has called me to do… in this moment, at least. Around this time last year I had applied to be a dance teacher and while in the interview I was not fully committed. I was not fully in it. Although I got pretty far into the interview, second round, I did not get the job because it was obvious that I was not committed to making this a career. I knew it was a part of me but it was not all of me…yet when it was all over I missed those moments of creating dance lessons, putting together a performance, watching the children perform…I missed it all. I knew having these feelings were a clue into what God had called me to do.
Throughout this month I have been praying really hard to just get a new job! I apply for jobs every day… praying something will come through. I have been asking God to take over and open up an opportunity that will give me clarity… opportunities that will add on to the foundation that has been planted within me. I’ve mainly applied to Theater/ Dance positions… I started applying in May and now, at the end of June I’m starting to hear from a few schools… all for theater jobs. I just came back from one interview. I talked to the principal and she showed the classroom and stage… and I left feeling … well, it was nice to get interview mode… ease some nervousness for the upcoming interviews I have scheduled.
Now, working in a school can be… well, somewhat stifling for “the freed artist” but maybe this new position will open up something within me… I’m simply trusting in this guidance. I guess there is a certified teacher in me that I need to let flourish… certification would be nice to add to my expertise… although a resume filled with degrees.. certifications means nothing in God’s eyes… He has the power to open doors that a fancy resume couldn’t! Who know’s maybe God will open up a door that I have not even applied for… until then I’m in teacher interview mode… putting my best foot forward.
But yeah, aside from the interviewing I have spent a quite a bit of time writing a new play… somewhat autobiographical… don’t want to give too many details but along the lines of generation curses… and I’m trying to go big with this one…. musical theater like… Broadway?! Watching the Tony’s got me a little inspired
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4 NIV