Full Circle

File Jun 29, 4 33 26 PM

Period 5 Theater… my favorite class :)

I am finding that I am itching to grow in the Arts… as in becoming a better theater arts teacher and I am not sure if I stay still I will grow.  My surroundings are slowly but surely causing me to take the easy route… just be down right lazy.  I know I should not let people steer me off course, but when the majority of the atmosphere is this “bare minimum” state of mind, I can’t help to feel a bit complacent.  I know in the past, I was a minimalist in all aspects in dealing with the day job… not that I had a night gig or anything.   I know, “do better, Megan,”  but, I wasn’t being lazy… I just felt like that was my calling at the time.  The inner work needed to be taken care, so my jobs before never caused me to overdo it, in a sense.  I was a teacher assistant for about 4 years… I had the opportunity to become a dance teacher but in my interview, it became quite obvious that I was not ready for the responsibility…   I needed more for preparation.  I needed more time to accept my calling.  Like David, who spent most of his life in the field before he became king.  Not too much responsibility, but just enough to clear out what needed to be clear out … or rather what needed to be cultivated within me.

Recently, I was reconnected with a friend.  We were in the same circle of friends a few years back…back when I was a “performance artist.” I hung around with a group of artists in the infamous Third Ward.  Now, even though I lived off Kuykendayl and I-45, I would flock to Third Ward two to three times a week to be part of the daily happenings within the circle.   The daily happenings ranged from conjuring up ideas for a grant proposal, rehearsing for the upcoming show, or playing Monopoly…yes, Monopoly.  This group gave me value. I was able to see my worth in this group.  I was surrounded by talent, and most importantly I was accepted by this talent.  Performances, art openings were quite frequent.  There were usually at least 2 exhibitions every week, so I started to meet other artists.  I got to know so many creative people and were actually interested in getting to know me.  It gave that celebrity feeling without me being on the cover PEOPLE magazine.  I was seen.  I was adored even.  I was part of everyone’s art project… everyone wanted me to be part of their project.  I know, I know, “keep at it, maybe you could make a living doing this!” But you see in order to make a living doing something, income must be generated from some source.  I made absolutely no money doing this.  The artists I worked with would apply for these grants, money for these art projects, but I never saw a dime of any of it.  Mind you, these grants were usually a few 1,000 dollars… not even $20 was given to me.  I even posed for a life-sized portrait that was sold for $10,000.  Did I get a smidge of that?  NOPE!  So I was working/ posing for their… let me emphasize THEIR projects and getting nothing in return.  No fruits to my labor.

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In time, something hit me and I decided to take a break from it all.  At first, I thought it was just because I got tired of seeing the same people all the time.  As I started to take off a week, then a month, then months, I realized it wasn’t the people that I got tired of but I got tired of being in the dark.  Within this break, my family became a priority and me figuring out who I was, am, without the third ward crew.

Fast-forward to…. two boyfriends later, friendships ended, new ones gained, forgotten friendships renewed, a church that teaches me the true meaning of Worship, and the realization of my calling as a teacher…A path that was nowhere near linear…Unexpected people and places on my path….and having no idea that it would lead me to teach theater.  God certainly put that dream in me… literally! I had a dream of a stage that first started off small with hand-made scenery, then as my eyes shifted towards the right, the stage, or rather each stage got bigger and bigger and the scenery more elaborate than the one before.  A vision of the plan.

So now, my first year as a Theater teacher has come to an end, and my desire to grow in this field has expanded, causing me to seek more nurturing surroundings in the arts… as in leaving my current position.  So, after weighing out the pros and cons, and being content with staying if God called me to.. I applied to another Theater position.  The position was actually in my old stomping grounds… not Third ward.. but Garden Oaks/ Oak Forest area.  This was my home, where I attended elementary school, St. Rose of Lima, and dance classes at Sullivan’s/ Texas Tap Ensemble… This was where I began.

It all happened within a week.  I applied and in that same week got an interview, and the next day I got the job (all before the school year ended, so I didn’t have to spend the entire summer applying to jobs as I did last summer.) It just flowed right together… not a whole lot of effort on my part, just simply God’s grace.

As the new school year approaches, I am a bit nervous, being that I have some major responsibilities to take on.  I want to do well… I want to win this competition and I want to put on a great show… I want to be a great teacher.  More than ever I want to please God… I NEED Him more than ever.  I need His inspiration, pure wisdom, His peace to get me through this.  I am feeling a bit vulnerable these days.. not to the point of tears but I need to call on Him more than I did before… placing a large amount trust in him… which I believe was His plan all along.

Dear God,  I am ready to listen.  I am ready to follow through. I am ready to surrender to the call.

“This is the appointed time.” –  John Gray :) August 23, 2017

And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up.  And as was his custom, he went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and he stood up to read.  And the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written,

 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
    because he has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives
    and recovering of sight to the blind,
    to set at liberty those who are oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

And he rolled up the scroll and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. And he began to say to them, “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.”

Luke 4:16-21 (ESV)

 

 

 

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