At the moment, I am at Whole Foods writing… I needed some time to breathe outside my parents’ house. I had a moment of clarity on the ride up here though… my sister is pretty awesome. I, of course, had some frustrations that lead me to seek an outlet outside my parent’s home and the first person I run to… before Jesus… is my sister. She is at work but I have her work number in my cell when times like this arise when I need to let it all out. I am learning that it is best to let out my frustrations and not keep it in… and my number one go-to person is my sister. Although younger, she gets me… we are always playing on the same team.. and funny when I’m upset or frustrated about something she is stable enough to get me through it and when she is down and in tears I am poised to pull her out of it.. it’s crazy how that happens we are never both down in the dumps, one will always be ready to bring the other back to life. One would think this has been our thing our whole life…yet, this bond has only lasted for the past four years.
When I graduated from high school, she was in elementary school on her way to middle school. I was set to live in Austin for my college years. I was the typical college student in Austin. I was not this wild child in the streets, but had a nice balance of maintaining a good GPA and exploring sixth street. My college was consumed with nights in the editing room working on film projects and hanging with some pretty eclectic folk the city had to offer, and didn’t include talking to my little sister on the phone. I don’t even think I had the desire to call her… which is so hard to admit now. I had heard there was a situation while she was middle school in which my dad had to intervene and talk to the principle about her choice of friends… did I try to steer her into the right direction?… nope. I think I said a few words about the situation to my parents but never directly had a heart to heart with her….I would come down for the holidays… the perfect time to connect with her but I was caught up in hanging out with friends and my older brother and his friends…not hanging out at home with my younger sister… initiating time with her was never an option… I was caught up in other interests… MY interests. I’m actually tearing up as I am writing this. Don’t get me wrong we were cool but it was very superficial… We didn’t know each other on that deeper level. Maybe age had a lot to do with it… 8 years is nearly a decade.
After Austin, I head straight to NY…. we still don’t talk on the phone but I see her on the holidays and when she and mom come to The City to visit me… we are cool but it’s still not that deep. I did look forward to seeing her when they would come to visit…I loved seeing her light lit up when she was in Times Square here and when she found the perfect Louis Vuitton knock-off of her choice. I stay in NY for a few years….I am yearning for something more…some purpose in my life. I decide to leave and head home back to Houston. That first year back, I can’t really grab on what I am looking for but I know I need to be with my sister… so I attempt to strike conversation with my estranged sister. There are no words. I ask questions but only one word replies and silence. How do I get through to her? This becomes a challenging task for me after several attempts. I then turn to Jesus/God to make this right… to have a REAL relationship with my sister. In the process of praying and trying, we would have little tiffs here and there, not because we hated each other but simply because we didn’t know each other… how could I expect her to open up to me when she didn’t even know who I was… I didn’t even know who I was. I spent the majority of her life running away from who I was… who I am… I was being influenced from everything outside myself…
Everyday was a challenge… especially when I had to get my head straight and then on top of that build our relationship. Yet, it was when I stopped being in the world… in the scene… and looked at my sister I found Him. And in turn found myself. I was looking everywhere else but all needed to do was be in her presence which then steered me to be in HIS presence. Timing has it that God brought us together when we needed each other the most… in building our relationship we have both found purpose…. our inner-most conversations have brought on clarity and revelation. WE bounce ideas off each other and gain courage to go at it. She has become my rock (along with Jesus, of course) during this time of transition. I am truly blessed to have such a beautiful, strong, inspiring sister. Thank you Jesus!
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.