An opportunitity that could open doors outside of my hometown has presented itself.  This opportunity lies in the location that I have had my sights on since I’ve moved back home, so it’s kind of surreal that it’s actually happening.  I have to admit but I am little scared.  I have prayed for this, believed, spoke it into existence and now it is beginning to sprout…but I am bit hesitant.

My fear comes from not knowing the unknown.  I had the same feeling when I started working at a new school here.  I was nervous.  I was going to be working with Special Ed children, which I have never done before, so I was little scared but it ended up working out nicely, like second nature.  Maybe I have to keep that in my mind.  Maybe I just need to get in the groove of things and it will all fall into place effortlessly.  Yet, this time around I will be changing locations.  The changes I went through here, jobs, relationships didn’t seem so bad because I had my family to fall back on.  Their emotioal support got me through it.  Now I will have to go at it alone.  Well, I guess not entirely… this is when my trust in God comes into play.

Already, I can see that this very opportunity came from Him.  I did not seek this out, the company found me.  The company is even faith-based.  After the interview she had the nerve to say God Bless You.  God Bless you?  In the entertainment industry?  Is this for real?  I have decided to just be positive and go with it.

But I think my fear goes beyond walking into the unknown but fear that I could get lost again. I am going back to the place I walked away from so I could create some balance in my life.  In the process I was refined and a spirtual foundation in Christ was established within me, but will I be able to uphold it?  I will be auditioning again surrounded by other artists.  Will I get caught up in my own selfish desires and allow others to mold me?

Made me think about Dave Chapelle.   So he left his show because it started to go in a direction that devalued his character.  This move proves that he knows who he is, secure with himself, and will not let money mold him into something that he is not.  Don’t mean to preach, but doesn’t the enemy want you to go in the direction that is nothing what God created you to be?  The money, fame, recognition will serve as temptions.  But is it worth it?  Yep, I’m going to say it:   What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? Luke 9:25  So this month I pray to keep this in mind.  To uphold what I have gained from God.  To uphold what He has shown me to be.  To uphold my identity in Him.