During my spring break, I was prompted to retrieve this play I wrote two years ago. I started writing it when I was in the middle of my “what am I going to do with my life?” phase. I had no idea where I was going with this play…I just went with it. I started the play off with a dream I had when I first moved back to Houston. My grandmother, Mommie (emphasis on on the second m) was driving me somewhere. She was younger, looked like my Aunt Priscilla, who is the oldest child on my mom’s side of the family. She was slim, shoulder-length black hair…reminiscent of Lena Horne. I was in the backseat, looking out the side window, I could feel her glancing at me in the rear-view mirror. After a minute or two, she asked, “How are you?” I answered in a non-convincing “fine.” She then said to me, “You need to detach from everything that you have known before.” Thus begins the tale.
Throughout the play the main character, Eden, retreats to a song that she can’t seem to let go:
Little girl I used to know you, Little girl you were so true, Little girl why do you leave me so alone and blue, Little girl, little girl I knew you, Little girl, little girl you knew me too, Where have you gone little girl, Where are you?
The song comes to her when she comes back home.
Well, of course the play stems from my own experience of coming home…physically and spiritually. I had to reset, and begin again. I read the play with new eyes. I had forgotten what I had put in the play… the action, the scenes, characters… It was all new to me… and I was bit taken back that while I was reading it some revelation came upon me. The play reminded me to go back to that little girl I once was. I had re-read the play when I was right in the middle of deciding to make plans with this entertainment company. Every worry entered my mind: How was I going to get there? Should I even go? Is it going to work out? among other doubts… I was lost…confused…and scared. But then I kept reading… The play pushed me to go back to the little girl that has faith, confidence, enthusiasm, peace, security…the one God called me to be. I had to rid my mind of all that life swung at me as I got older: selfish desires, confusion, struggle, hurt… I needed to go back to her.
In the play, Eden, battles with the flesh and the spirit. The flesh being defined as all that is of the self: worry, doubt, selfish desires, confusion; and the spirit, all that is of God: peace, humility, patience, trust, hope, and love. Throughout the play they are face to face quite a bit, The Old and The New Eden. I guess I could have given them different names and allow the story to reveal the true essence of each character but I just wanted to to tell the story… I may give them all real names later, instead of: Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister, Someone New, Someone New 2, Brother Boy, and Boy. The only character that has a name is Eden… hmmm maybe that’s symbolic of something…Thus brings up the central theme of the play…the claim for identity. Eden starts to pick apart the self she once was and comes to understand how others define her, especially those in her inner circle… family and close friends. Eden hears the truth about herself from those closest to her and finds that she must yield to those truths and the truth within her.
Writing the play made me realize that I was not being honest with myself. I longed to be approved by others, and I sought this approval from people nowhere near my inner circle. I spent a lot of time running away from inner circle, the ones that truly knew me and my TRUE potential. I sought to be seen and acknowledged but ended up in the wrong environment… not my true destiny. I needed to re-establish who I was…who I am. I had to step away from the old, and submit to the new. In the process I realized that there were people and places that needed my true presence… my true identity. My true identity is my purpose… my true identity is my saving grace.
So, let me keep in mind Eden in this time of renewal. Make me New, Lord.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”