Once On This Island Jr. Spring 2019. A piece of the vision that He has revealed to me
I had to add part 2 to the title because I realized that I had already used this title before… way back when. At the time, I was caught up with a boy who I had taken my power… crazy but I don’t even remember which boy I was talking about. I guess that’s a good thing. I overcame… oh, yes I remember who it was. I wish him well. Moving on… this time I focusing on the power of prayer. A few weeks ago, I had decided to pray out loud and speak with declaration… I was angry, no fed up… announcing my growth and, the changes I made to get to this point. I decided that I didn’t want to cry or be frustrated about the situation I was in because I was tired of crying. I had done time and time again and I was done! The tears didn’t make it better… for a moment but not really. I prayed this time with assertiveness… “You told me this was going to happen. You told me that was going to come together… I want my blessings now Lord! I don’t want to cry anymore… I want the blessings you told me about. The blessings you showed me.” I said this prayer in my car. I drove up the driveway, about to cry about the same thing I had been crying over before, opened up the garage, no cars in the garage… I was home alone. I parked my car into the garage. Turned off my car. And I started my prayer. I started speaking out loud. telling Him I was tired of crying over this… I was tired of being frustrated over this… I was done with my response while in this process. I declared his power over this situation and declared his vision. “You are…” “You said…” and crazy I never shed a tear during the prayer.. after the prayer… or the rest of the days that followed.
I know this sounds odd but after I said that prayer, I truly started to believe in the POWER in prayer…something in me started to change. That prayer gave me so much confidence…The prayer opened up something in me. I had never felt this before. I had heard before: Prayer can create miracles, but I think it has a lot has to do with how you pray. I had never really prayed like that… born and raised Catholic, my natural instinct is to recite memorized prayers, or keep it nice and quiet. Yet, at this moment, I felt moved… to preach, really. When I said this prayer… a change happened within me… a power came upon me. It was not this supernatural whirlwind that whipped me into a different dimension but there was this supernatural knowing that All is well… I will get to the vision… now, you are on board. Now, you believe. Now you are speaking in Faith, Megan.
So, the origin of this prayer came from my frustration of waiting on God. I had always had this gift of vision. God tends to clue me into what is to transpire. When I was in NY, after about 3 or 4 years I was given a vision… I remember I was on the B38, riding down Dekalb Avenue looking out the window I saw a vision.. as if I watching a movie, of me leaving my job at the time. A going away party in my honor, all saying good-bye. I was actually fine with this vision, yet tears rolled down my eyes as if I was leaving defeated. I came to the big city and nothing came together.. as I thought they would…I needed more time… but as the days went by I a sense of peace came upon me, and assurance that it was time to go.
When I came home I was able to slow down, mend relationships, and build a foundation in Him. My life had gotten all out of focus those last few years in NY. I was so focused on success, money, and simply M-E, ME. When I came home, I was able to grasp HIS calling in my life.. and beautifully, without my doing everything fell into place. Before I saw that bus vision I was simply me-centered. I was pushing, forcing things to happen… making things happen… but when I followed through, made that move and was I obedient to His call, I saw those around me more clearly. I needed to sit down, listen, observe, detach… and start His work.
So, I am in this same predicament again. He gave me a vision but there is no real action I can do. Like before it was the simple task of moving… packing up my things and head home. This time, I am not too sure what to do… there is no clear step by step to allow this vision to come to pass. This is when the gift of vision becomes frustrating and I get downright angry… which prompted “the prayer.”
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, “ GOD has lost track of me. He doesn’t care what happens to me”? Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening? GOD doesn’t come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon GOD get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.
Isaiah 40:27-31 MSG